Inspiration is a fleeting thing for me at the moment.
I know I have been neglecting my blog. I have been neglecting a lot of things. All while I nurture a part of my life that words expressed as my everything, yet my actions showed to be an inconvenience. I have been blessed with 4 beautiful children and I have been spending time with them. Really trying to enjoy them.
I dropped out of my College of Law stuff in July. I think I was truly on the verge of a breakdown. I think I had a mini one.
When I made the decision to postpone the course, I felt free and alive and able to breathe again. From that came an understanding that I needed to go back to my basics and work out what I wanted. That is such a hard question from the core. What do I want? Where do I want to be? Am I really happy? What can I change to make me really happy?
So stuff got put on the back burner. Although when I tried to come back, I couldn't, but that is another story. Maybe I wasn't ready after all.
I feel so grateful for having the opportunity to find me again, and work out what I want and where I want to go. All throughout, my husband has been my rock and I am so lucky to have him.
So what have I learned?
I need to make more time for my children. They aren't calling me and talking to me to annoy me, it is because they want to share their new experience/day/ fun stuff/something exciting with their mum, one of the people they love more than the world.
It really does take a village to raise a child. Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it is necessary.
Sometimes taking a break from things you think you love (like taking photos, blogging, facebook, pinterest) shows you what you really do love. For me, I missed taking photos and playing with them more than anything. I also really did miss blogging, but not as much as I thought, pinterest really does motivate and inspire me, so that can stay. Facebook - ah take it or leave it. Books, I need more.
I discovered that I love Spring, and just the warmer, longer, brighter days make me happier. I also discovered I really do love being in my garden. It was becoming a chore and I dreaded the weeding, the vegie garden etc. But not doing it made me realise I missed it.
Everyone needs a pet. I hate cats. Or I did until we got Misty. She has been amazing, always knowing when I just needed her to need a cuddle, purring while I patted her and allowing me to feel needed, when I felt like everyone else was taking me for granted.
Finally, I have awesome friends :)
Sorry for the length of this post. I am picking up my camera today for the first time in a long time, so there will be photos soon, which are much nicer than all these words...
Thank you for listening.