I write that and in my head I think, 'yes I am, but I should be the most perfect imperfect person I know'.
My Reading Nook.
Our Outside Area.
In 'The Power of Vulnerability', Brene Brown talks about the two distinct reactions people have to anxious situations. You are either an overfunctioner (which is apparently very common for a first child - and even more so for a first daughter) or an underfunctioner. I am obviously a first daughter - lets just put it that way!
So I get the call and I love seeing my friends so of course I say 'sure, I would love to see you'. Then I race around the house, screaming at people to do things 'Big Butterfly - put away the placemats, Little Mudpie - vacuum under the table and in the kitchen (he actually loves this job and would do anything to vacuum at anytime)' etc.
Then I put them on the bus and spend the next 30 minutes redoing what I asked them to do.
Now my Ego is popping up here and asking me to tell you that really the house is always pretty clean anyway. Which it is. My mum would say 'Leanne it is fine, your house is beautiful - stop worrying about it and enjoy your friends', and again she is right, my house would be fine to entertain people in at almost any point in time.
I am real and we get crumbs on the floor. I am real and I have days when I don't want to see people. Just like I am real and I have days where I go to Coles with my hair wet and dripping because we have just gotten back from the beach (which of these am I ok with? Just number 3 - so you know).
Other trigger points for me include getting 'everything' done. Being a 'perfect' mum - which is an oxymoron and many many more. It would be interesting to see what others have as their triggers.
The Family Room.The reality is - no human is perfect. To be honest I am pretty sure no-one expects me to be anyway. Except me.
I remind myself of the times that I have called in to a friends house and they had crumbs on the floor. Did I care? Not at all. Its ok to show people that you are real and in doing so you are opening yourself up to deeper and more caring relationships than ever before. When you show vulnerability (in whatever form) you are giving that person the chance, not just to hurt you, but to show you how much they care and your connection becomes deeper. And lets face it, thats why we are all here - to connect to people.
My Imperfect Family Room.
I am always going to do my best. Will I stop trying to keep my house neat and clean? No because that is how I like it to be, and I feel I can relax better in my home when it is nice and clean. Am I going to keep over functioning every time someone is coming over, causing more stress for myself and my family? No I am not. I am going to accept that it is ok for people to see that I am real and sometimes there are crumbs on the floor. I am human.
And I (and my house - sometimes) are imperfect.